7 Signs You're a Great Mom and Don't Know It
Do you ever feel like a failure as a mom? Do you ever go to bed and shed a tear, and you aren't sure if the tear is from exhaustion or overwhelm, just to face the next day with a smile and a big hug for your kid?You aren't alone.
I have a friend whose child is fighting Dravet Syndrome. Her baby girl has seizures that last way too long and change her world instantaneously. She has 2 other kids and deals with all of the time constraints and pressures of 3 kids... it's just that one needs frequent trips to the hospital. She has her doubts, she wonders if she's doing it all wrong, but it's obvious to me she's a great mom.I have another friend who is only in her mid-thirties, yet she's fighting an aggressive form of breast cancer. One that wants to kill her. Her husband is a worship pastor, and they've got 3 young kids. She has her doubts, she wonders if she's doing it all wrong, but it's obvious to me that she's a great mom.Yet another is a mom whose sweet baby boy passed away at 8 months of age. That sweet boy had an older sister who needed an explanation of what happened to her baby brother. I can't imagine the pain that mom felt and feels when she's reminded of him. The memories of joy and complex emotions that they carry. That whole family is joyful and active in their church body. I don't know for a fact, but I can almost bet that that mom has her doubts; she wonders if she's doing it all wrong. It's SO obvious to me that she's a great mom.It's so plain to see that these moms are rocking it. Yet I look at myself and I'm frustrated. I KNOW FOR A FACT that I'm doing it all wrong. My baby is back to not sleeping at night. Probably because of something I'm doing wrong. I get a stretch of 4 hours and the rest is battling a sweet angel who knows she's exhausted but just CAN'T give in (she probably gets it from her mom) and then during the day, I can't seem to keep my eyes open and my mom hat “on” to interact with my toddler. And he needs my attention so badly and is acting out because of the lack of it. There JUST isn't enough of me! I feel like I can't be a toddler mom, a baby mom, a wife, and also take care of my basic hygiene. It takes a friend to look at me, and say, you know what? I know you're overwhelmed. I know you're at the end of your rope. And tired. And unsure. But, it's obvious to me that you're a great mom.So. Like me, YOU might need someone to remind you that, hey there mama... you're doing a great job. Even when it feels like everything is collapsing around you. If you're doing any combination of any of these things? You're a great mom.
1. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom isn't sure of her exact priorities because everything seems so important.
If you care deeply about your kids, your husband, and your other responsibilities, but don't seem to have time to dedicate yourself to any one of them fully, you're a good mom. I'd even say a great mom. The fact that you are trying means that you need a serious pat on the back. Or maybe a full massage. The fact that you care alone means that you're doing your best. And trying to put out the 1 thousand fires that need your attention RIGHT THIS SECOND OR ELSE! (just kidding, there are few things that are ACTUALLY that important... but you got this, mama! ;) )See also: Christian Family Rules- The Importance of Family Rules
2. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom talks to her kids and shares a smile with them when she can.
We moms often want to deeply connect with our kids and have a heart-to-heart with them. That isn't always possible, but a friendly connection is powerful. If you manage to smile at your kid, and have a short conversation with them, you're a good mom.See also: 5 Creative Prayer Ideas To Get Your Kids Excited About Praying
3. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom might be exhausted at the end of the day.
If you have no energy from 6 pm on, it might be because you worked hard all day and just never even got a time to rest. Or it might be emotional exhaustion. In those early days of breastfeeding, it felt like all I was doing was “resting”, even having my husband serve me meals and feed me. The emotional exhaustion is real, people. If you are trying to fall asleep at 9 pm as soon as the kids are down, but then remember all of the trillion of things you have to do at the end of the day, and don't fall asleep until 11 or later... you're a great mom.
4. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom has MAJOR FAIL days.
Have you ever looked at your shirt and wondered why you're wet? What human secretion is this and who is it from? Then change your shirt, you notice it's 11 and think, wow I need to make lunch! Then your kids don't EAT the lunch. In fact, one of them throws food at you, and you think, “at this point, is it even worth changing the shirt?” and you have a throbbing, huge headache and just want to self-medicate with a dark, quiet room and maybe a big piece of cake? Yeah. Having a bad day doesn't mean you're a bad mom... in fact, having a bad day? Means you care. It means that you're trying. You're a good mom.
5. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom can say NO.
No to the bake sale. No to the playdate. How about no to the Pinterest-perfect crafts and learning activities and the glitter slime. And especially, no to the brand new toy that your kid is begging you for at Target. Saying no is healthy. It gives you space to breathe, it teaches your kids that THEY can say no, and it teaches them that the whole world doesn't revolve around them and their wants.See also: When Christian Motherhood Becomes An Idol
6. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom plays on her strengths.
Some moms are crafty; DIY moms, others are great readers, and instill those values into their children's hearts. Some moms are great cooks and help their kids cook gourmet, international meals. Other moms are active, and take their kids out to the zoo or park or a playdate (or Chik-Fil-A) every day. Some moms enjoy being at home and have taught their kids how to properly fold a fitted sheet. Other moms work outside the home and are teaching their kids what it looks like for a real human to balance career and family. Yet other moms parent EACH AND EVERY DAY even though they are dealing with their own emotional or physical disabilities.
Oh, and...
One of the things that comforts me, is that if you have a mom friend you're jealous of...? Remember that no one can do all things well. You are almost definitely excelling in a different area than she is, and she might even wish that she was more like you in that or another area.A good mom plays into her strengths and shows her kids that it's okay to be good at one thing and not as good at another thing.See also: Tips to Make Mom Friends
7. How do you know if you're a good mom?A good mom prays for her kids.
From the elaborate written prayer journal and hope chest moms to the “dear Father, help my child” moms, good moms pray for their kids. The prayers that you say on behalf of your children are important, because God values children and values prayer. The intervention that you do in the Throne Room of God on behalf of your children is powerful and life-changing, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.So. Through all of your pains. All of your insecurities. I hope you can put them aside and look at yourself the way God sees you. A beloved child who is doing her best to raise children for His glory.See also: 7 Biblical Prayers Every Parent Should Say For Their Child [bctt tweet="Hey there mama... you're doing a great job. Even when it feels like everything is collapsing around you. Keep being humble and rely on Christ." username="christcentermom"]
So, you...
The mom who carts kids to every practice, lesson, school activity, and event.Or doesn't.The mom who homeschools year-round.Or doesn't.The mom who basically lives in the hospital, watching over her baby.Or the mom who battles anxiety and wonders when she'll have to return to the hospital.The mom who stays at home full-time.Or doesn't. You're a great mom.[bctt tweet="Remember that good moms aren't sure if they are good moms. And that's what makes them great. That's the Gospel. Real moms who aren't real sure but have real hope in Christ." username="christcentermom"] Remember that good moms aren't sure if they are good moms. And that humility is what makes them great. That's the Gospel.Real moms who aren't real sure but have real hope in Christ.And that hope will lead them to Christ who is sure. He is steady. He is good. And He cares.
“Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” – Unknown
See also: Please don't tell struggling moms to "enjoy every moment" and "Satan Wants You to Be a Lonely Mom 
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