A Letter To My Pastor's Wife

Dear Pastor’s Wife,
I see you.

I see your emotional exhaustion from carrying your sisters burdens, because you’re the first one they run to. When come come alongside women, I see their hearts get lighter and lives transformed. Because of God's work in you.

I see your tired eyes from the late night calls and texts, not one you’ve missed. Women being encouraged in the Lord when darkness threatens to consume them.

I see your tears as the weight becomes too heavy, and you cry out to the Lord because His strength is the only way you are able to persevere.

You grabbed take out for the 3rd time this week because between the meetings, phone calls and kids school, dinner is not restricted to being made by your own two hands. I see you stealing those precious few minutes you have in a day with your family.

Dear Pastor's Wife, God has entrusted you with so much.

The house work is piling up because the women’s hearts God entrusted you with needed your loving guidance and when you got home your children needed you too. I see you setting priorities for things that have eternal impact.

It’s 6am and your house is full of children because one of the women went into labor and you were the only one she could trust with the other 3 children. I see families finding their safe place in your home.

It’s midnight and you just left the house because a woman lost her husband and needed your shoulder. I see women who trust their hearts in your gentle care when they are most vulnerable.

A family left the church and you're wondering if there was more you could have done or said, wishing there was one last hug to give. I see your loving heart desiring peace.

Your husband missed another family dinner because the men in the congregation needed his counsel. I see you surrendered to God’s will.

You are taking the kids to the park alone again so your husband can study for the message on Sunday. I see your willingness to make sacrifices for God’s glory.

Today’s the 5th day this week you’ve spent at the church because there’s always another thing that needs to be done. I see your heart that serves an audience of One.

I’ve seen you wrestle with the question if you were called or capable of doing this, your husband went to ministry school to learn and glean from Teachers, but you’ve received no formal training. I see how God has equipped you.

I’ve seen the loneliness in your heart. Between the pressure of the position and the fear of being emotionally vulnerable after being hurt by church members in the past, it makes opening up feel impossible.

See also: The 8 Common Regrets of a Pastor's Wife

I see you, dearly beloved sister.

In Jeremiah 29:11a the Lord declares “For I know the plans I have for you”.

Psalm 139:16b reminds us that “all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began”.

Dear Pastor's Wife, You are appointed.

Just like the Lord appointed your husband to his position as pastor, He has appointed you (before you were even born) to your position as pastors wife, to help your husband guide the sheep entrusted to your care.

You have been given a special gift, an ability graciously given by God to serve and fulfill the needs for your specific church and those precious church members He has set before you. (1 Peter 4:10-11)

Your identity is in Christ alone. Not in the past hurts from church members, not in the fear of not doing enough, not in the amount of take out bags on your counter and not in your children. (Ephesians 2:10)

You were created for such a time as this and so were the other women around you. (Esther 5:14) God has given you specific women to come alongside you, encourage you, help carry the burden and lift up your arms when you become weary.

I am thankful for you.
I appreciate you.
Your church appreciates you.
I pray for you daily.
I see you.
Your church loves you.
I love you.

“I never stop giving thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers.”

Ephesians 1:16